For example, our husbands cannot make us completely happy and content. This may be a little bit hard to understand because husbands do have a way of bringing us great joy, but that is only to a certain extent. And really, we have to allow them to make us happy. If we are not appreciative and our minds are set on being negative, we are not giving our husbands the opportunity to make us happy. In fact, we are squashing any possibility of that happening. Sometimes it is easy to overlook the little things that our husbands do. It is easy to see all of the things that they may be messing up on or forgetting to do, but do we ever compliment them on the things that they are doing well? We tend to look for the bad things rather than the good and I think that is just part of our human nature. We don't mean to be discouraging but I think that it can sometimes come across that way. Our attitudes really do effect our husbands. If we are grumpy and discontent all the time, it rubs off on them and leaves them exasperated and feeling as if there is nothing that they can do to please us. Let's face it. Women naturally have sharp tongues. It isn't as obvious in some as it is in others and sometimes we'll show it more with our actions than with our words. But despite what other people may tell you, even if a husband is failing in a particular area, we should still speak kindly and try to encourage him whenever possible. One of my favorite Bible verses talks about this. It says, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh answer stirs up anger" (Proverbs 15:1). Another verse that goes along with this is Ephesians 4:29 which says, "Let no unwholesome word proceed from you mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear". By no means am I saying to ignore any issues that you may have, but it is important to try to find the good in each other and when you do need to address an issue, do it kindly. Ephesians 4:32 says "Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you". Take some time to appreciate all of the things that your husband does. Compliment him. Do something nice for him. He will love it and so will you. :)
Another thing that I want to consider in this post is that our husbands cannot fulfill our every need. For example, your husband cannot fulfill your need for fellowship with friends. Sure, you can have fellowship with your husband but it isn't the same. Men's minds do not work the same way that women's minds work and they communicate with each other differently. It should seem obvious that our husbands do not have the ability to fulfill our need for "girl time", but it has occurred to me that we might sometimes subconsciously try to rely on him to meet this need. It is not like you suddenly start wanting your husband to go get pedicures with you or anything like that. It happens in a more discreet manner. I, for one, did not really think that this would ever be an issue for me but in my two years of marriage so far, it has already been proven that I was wrong in thinking so. Moving to Jacksonville was a big step for us. It has been hard to make friends here and I realized that at some point I began relying on my husband more and more to fulfill my need for fellowship with friends. I was wanting his attention almost constantly. He cannot meet that need though. As far as I know, there aren't any Bible verses that talk specifically about this issue but there are verses that speak of the importance of Christian fellowship. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says, "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up". Another good one that is found in Proverbs is "Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice" (27:9). Good friends also can help shape you and encourage you to be a better friend, Christian, wife, mother, etc. Proverbs 27:17 says that "Iron sharpens iron. So one man sharpens another". The footnotes in my Bible go on to explain that the verse means that just as using the proper tools work to sharpen and shape iron to the desired result, so does a person sharpen his or her friends both morally and intellectually through their personal relationship with each other.
Where I'm going with all of this is that while our husbands do have the ability to help make us happy and they are very good at meeting our needs, they cannot make us completely happy or meet every single need. They cannot fix every problem or solve every issue in life. Our husbands are human. They will make mistakes and disappoint us sometimes. We have to learn to look to God because only He is perfect (Romans 3:10, 3:23) and He is where our joy truly comes from (Psalm 28:7, Psalm 16:11, Nehemiah 8:10). Why do we have such impossible expectations? It is not fair for us to expect our husbands to be perfect. They are not God. I challenge all of you wives to be encouragers and supporters and to pray for your husbands. After all, isn't it part of our job to be a helpmate? (Check out Genesis 2:18-22).