I was pleasantly surprised with the financial aspect of taking the classes. The tuition for the classes that I am taking is just $20. Of course that price probably varies from location to location and I will still have to buy the class kit and a few other supplies as well as the ingredients for the cakes that I will be making but it doesn't seem to be unmanageable. The kit is about $40 but I have been told that they are often on sale for $20. Plus there are often coupons that make a pretty significant difference so that makes it a lot better. I will be posting about my experiences with the Wilton's cake decorating classes throughout the month of June (and possibly longer if I decide to take the other two courses) so if it is something that you may be interested in doing yourself sometime, stay tuned for my review of the classes. I'll be sure to post pictures of my creations as well. Even if they are flops. :)
So I have decided to try out a new hobby... Cake decorating! I've never really done any cake decorating before so I may be completely terrible at it but I think it could be fun. I saw an advertisement online a couple of weeks ago for the classes that are being offered through the Michael's craft store in town. They are the official Wilton cake decorating classes so at the end, everyone gets a completion certificate that can actually be used to get jobs in bakeries. Not that I want to go get a job in a bakery. I just think that it would be fun to be able to make and decorate cakes on a professional level. There are four classes. Each one meets once a week for four weeks. Right now I am just enrolled in the first two courses. I'm not sure that you are really supposed to take two classes simultaneously since after doing some research I realized that they sort of build on top of each other but we'll see if I can survive. I am very excited about starting the classes next week though I am not sure what I'll do with all of that cake I will be making and decorating. I don't even like cake... I guess I'll be giving it away to everyone I know. And probably sending them to work with my hubby too.
I was pleasantly surprised with the financial aspect of taking the classes. The tuition for the classes that I am taking is just $20. Of course that price probably varies from location to location and I will still have to buy the class kit and a few other supplies as well as the ingredients for the cakes that I will be making but it doesn't seem to be unmanageable. The kit is about $40 but I have been told that they are often on sale for $20. Plus there are often coupons that make a pretty significant difference so that makes it a lot better. I will be posting about my experiences with the Wilton's cake decorating classes throughout the month of June (and possibly longer if I decide to take the other two courses) so if it is something that you may be interested in doing yourself sometime, stay tuned for my review of the classes. I'll be sure to post pictures of my creations as well. Even if they are flops. :)
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Hmmm... Interesting title for a post, huh? I know it may sound strange but it is something that has been on my mind recently. First of all, our husbands are really pretty amazing, aren't they? They provide a sense of strength, comfort, and security. They are protective. They squish spiders for us and open jars that have the lids on too tightly. They get up early every day to go to work for hours straight to provide for the family financially and then they still spend time and effort trying to make us feel loved or help with the kids (if you have them) in the evenings. It is a part of their job to ensure that the family is functioning and growing spiritually. They are responsible for the well-being of their entire families. A lot of weight rests upon the shoulders of our husbands! Our husbands do so much and we really do expect a lot from them. But you know what? As hard as it may be to believe, even though they may seem like superheroes who can do anything, there are some things that they just cannot do.
For example, our husbands cannot make us completely happy and content. This may be a little bit hard to understand because husbands do have a way of bringing us great joy, but that is only to a certain extent. And really, we have to allow them to make us happy. If we are not appreciative and our minds are set on being negative, we are not giving our husbands the opportunity to make us happy. In fact, we are squashing any possibility of that happening. Sometimes it is easy to overlook the little things that our husbands do. It is easy to see all of the things that they may be messing up on or forgetting to do, but do we ever compliment them on the things that they are doing well? We tend to look for the bad things rather than the good and I think that is just part of our human nature. We don't mean to be discouraging but I think that it can sometimes come across that way. Our attitudes really do effect our husbands. If we are grumpy and discontent all the time, it rubs off on them and leaves them exasperated and feeling as if there is nothing that they can do to please us. Let's face it. Women naturally have sharp tongues. It isn't as obvious in some as it is in others and sometimes we'll show it more with our actions than with our words. But despite what other people may tell you, even if a husband is failing in a particular area, we should still speak kindly and try to encourage him whenever possible. One of my favorite Bible verses talks about this. It says, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh answer stirs up anger" (Proverbs 15:1). Another verse that goes along with this is Ephesians 4:29 which says, "Let no unwholesome word proceed from you mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear". By no means am I saying to ignore any issues that you may have, but it is important to try to find the good in each other and when you do need to address an issue, do it kindly. Ephesians 4:32 says "Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you". Take some time to appreciate all of the things that your husband does. Compliment him. Do something nice for him. He will love it and so will you. :) Another thing that I want to consider in this post is that our husbands cannot fulfill our every need. For example, your husband cannot fulfill your need for fellowship with friends. Sure, you can have fellowship with your husband but it isn't the same. Men's minds do not work the same way that women's minds work and they communicate with each other differently. It should seem obvious that our husbands do not have the ability to fulfill our need for "girl time", but it has occurred to me that we might sometimes subconsciously try to rely on him to meet this need. It is not like you suddenly start wanting your husband to go get pedicures with you or anything like that. It happens in a more discreet manner. I, for one, did not really think that this would ever be an issue for me but in my two years of marriage so far, it has already been proven that I was wrong in thinking so. Moving to Jacksonville was a big step for us. It has been hard to make friends here and I realized that at some point I began relying on my husband more and more to fulfill my need for fellowship with friends. I was wanting his attention almost constantly. He cannot meet that need though. As far as I know, there aren't any Bible verses that talk specifically about this issue but there are verses that speak of the importance of Christian fellowship. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says, "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up". Another good one that is found in Proverbs is "Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice" (27:9). Good friends also can help shape you and encourage you to be a better friend, Christian, wife, mother, etc. Proverbs 27:17 says that "Iron sharpens iron. So one man sharpens another". The footnotes in my Bible go on to explain that the verse means that just as using the proper tools work to sharpen and shape iron to the desired result, so does a person sharpen his or her friends both morally and intellectually through their personal relationship with each other. Where I'm going with all of this is that while our husbands do have the ability to help make us happy and they are very good at meeting our needs, they cannot make us completely happy or meet every single need. They cannot fix every problem or solve every issue in life. Our husbands are human. They will make mistakes and disappoint us sometimes. We have to learn to look to God because only He is perfect (Romans 3:10, 3:23) and He is where our joy truly comes from (Psalm 28:7, Psalm 16:11, Nehemiah 8:10). Why do we have such impossible expectations? It is not fair for us to expect our husbands to be perfect. They are not God. I challenge all of you wives to be encouragers and supporters and to pray for your husbands. After all, isn't it part of our job to be a helpmate? (Check out Genesis 2:18-22). All alone, I'll walk with him 'til morning... Please excuse the random outburst of show tunes...
One more night until Cameron comes home. Finally! This week has seemed to drag on and on and on. I have been doing my best to make time pass by quickly though. I have found that getting out of the house helps immensely. This week I have actually ventured out and done several things on my own. Which is unlike me. I hate being alone and going places by myself. It wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be though so today I want to share a little about some of my lonesome excursions. 1. I went to the mall. This is something that I normally wouldn't do without a friend or sister so it was a rather interesting experience. It was kind of relaxing at the same time though. I was able to shop at my own pace and look at everything that I wanted to see and in all of the stores that I wanted to visit. The main problem that I had was when I had no one to tell me what they think about a particular article of clothing. It is hard not to feel lonely when doing things that I would normally be doing with someone else and I would still rather go to the mall with somebody but to put a positive spin on it... I am learning to be more decisive! I had to decide for myself whether or not to buy an item. 2. I treated myself to a movie. This is one that I was really hesitant about but it helped that there was actually something good playing. The movie that I saw was God's Not Dead and I am so glad that I went and saw it. It was wonderful. Such an inspiring story about a freshman in college who was faced with the task of proving to an atheist philosophy instructor that God is not dead, He's alive. I loved it. It made me laugh and cry and when I left the theatre, I truly felt encouraged and uplifted. I also had the pleasure of listening to the elderly couple talking behind me. It was really sweet and kind of fun to hear their comments and interesting to see which parts of the movie made them laugh. I didn't mind their talking during the movie at all. It made me very happy to hear them actually. I love to see old couples in love. :) It is an amazing movie though. You should go see it or get it on Redbox when it comes out. God's not dead! 3. The other lonesome adventure that I went on this week was to the beach. I had really been wanting to go because the weather had been so nice but it took me all the way until Sunday to finally decide to just go. And I thoroughly enjoyed the trip even though it did make me miss my husband even more. It was bright and sunny all afternoon so the water was sparkly and beautifully teal in color. The only downside was that the beach was absolutely packed. It took me forever to find a parking spot and then a semi-quiet place to spread out my towel so that I could read my book. I read for about an hour and a half and then went for a walk by the water's edge and let the waves come up over my feet. It is still a bit chilly to swim in my opinion. And you have to watch out for jelly fish so I am a little afraid to swim in the ocean anyway... The trip was great though. I ended up staying longer than I had originally planned so I also got a lovely sunburn... Oh well. I think it will heal quickly. And that pretty much sums it up. I just wanted to say that it is okay to go places alone sometimes. It isn't always fun but it can definitely be good for you. I'd say that overall, this was the best week that I have had since Cameron left because it is the first week that I have had the courage to get out of the house and go somewhere by myself. It is also the last week that Cameron is gone so that probably helps quite a bit too. I can't wait to pick him up tomorrow! :) There is just something that I must say...
Regardless of how long you have to be apart from your spouse, it is never easy. One of the things that bothers me most is when I see or hear women basically slamming other women who are upset or sad about their husbands being away. So many times I have read posts that say things like, "We all have to do it. Get over it" or "Your husband is only going to be gone for six or seven weeks? Last year mine was gone for six months. Six or seven weeks is nothing!". It isn't nothing. Why do we say stuff like that to each other? It doesn't matter how long they are gone. It is still going to be hard and it most definitely is not a comparison game. Shouldn't we be encouraging and supporting each other through the difficult times of being separated? Why don't we look for ways to make each other feel better and to try to bring people closer to God in their time of need? It is just so sad to me when I see people being treated as if they are wrong for being upset about their husbands being gone. Yes, you should try to manage your emotions but that doesn't mean that you are not allowed to show them at all or to be sad about your husband (aka your best friend, aka the one that means more to you than anyone else in the world) being gone for any amount of time. Sure, a couple weeks may seem more manageable than several months (especially to a more seasoned military wife) but I still do not think that it gives us reason to be so unkind to one another. Let's all just be nice. Let's show some kindness to those that are having a hard time. Let's support each other and encourage each other. Make some cookies! Offer to help with the kids or just keep them company! Talk to each other! There is no need for unkind remarks. Sorry... That was my rant for the day. :) Okay. So the number one question that I am asked by people outside of the Corps is this... "How do you survive in a new town with your husband gone on a regular basis?!". My answer is simple. I survive by the grace of God. He is the one that carries me when I feel like I cannot go on and even when I am feeling strong, He is there walking along beside me guiding my steps. I couldn't do it without Him and I wouldn't even want to try. I'd be a complete and total mess. He really is where my strength comes from and I give Him full credit for my ability to survive while my husband is away. The following is what has become my "survival guide" for when I am alone.
1. Read.The. Bible. This one can be difficult because I find that it is hard to understand at times but it helps so much. Even when I don't understand it still brings me peace somehow. God's Word is amazing. My favorite verse that I have gone to over and over again throughout the past few years is Isaiah 41:10 which says, "Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand" (NASB) 2. Go for long walks with friends. When I am able to, I love to go for long walks with my friends! It is so nice just to take some time out to slow down and look at the scenery and just chat. I always feel so encouraged afterward and as a plus, you get a pretty good workout in! 3. Learn how to do something new. For me it was learning how to crochet but it can be pretty much anything. It helps to pass the time and gives you something constructive to do while you are waiting for your husband to come home. The only downside is that if you pick something crafty like crocheting, you end up with lots of hats and blankets and slippers and you don't know what to do with them all... They're so much fun to make though! 4. Talk on the phone. With everyone that you can think of. It's nice to keep in touch with people back home and you'll feel much more in the loop as you are passing the time. 5. Don't go shopping. 6. Clean the house from top to bottom and make it as spotless as you possibly can. Sounds like fun, right? Well... maybe not but your hubby will love coming home to a sparkling clean house. That way you do not have to worry about the house as much and you can just focus on spending time together as husband and wife or as a family. 7. Go on a healthy kick. Exercise. Eat right. You'll feel better in general and it will make you even more excited for your hubby to come home! 8. Be healthy but you can still have coffee. Iced mochas anyone? I have a recipe (http://lifeasamarinewife7.blogspot.com/2014/01/homemade-iced-mochas.html). An occasional trip to Starbucks is nice too... 9. Decorate the house. Hey, why not paint a mural on the wall?! Okay. I'm just kidding about the mural. Decorating is good though! 10. Old TV shows are your friend. Nothing cheers me up like good ole' Laura Petrie from the Dick Van Dyke Show, Opie Taylor from The Andy Griffith Show, or Uncle Joe from Petticoat Junction! Not into old shows or watching things in black and white? That's okay. I just recommend staying away from anything too focused on romance or other things that may make you feel sad or depressed. 11. Bubble baths are good! Regardless of the season or the temperature outside, I find that there is nothing like having a good long soak in the tub with your favorite book. Or you could just get on Facebook on your phone... 12. Plan for when he gets home! What are you going to cook? What are you going to wear? How are you going to do your hair and make up? There is so much to do! 13. Listen to uplifting music. I pretty much listen to only Christian music anyway but especially so when my husband is gone. Steer clear of country music. You'll just bawl all day if you don't. 14. Get out in the sunshine. Does staying inside all day with the blinds pulled down make anyone else just feel sort of... icky? Sometimes I just need to go sit out on the front porch and pet the neighbor's cat while the sun warms my skin and gives my spirits an instant lift. 15. Volunteer to babysit. It'll give you something to do and you may also get some good laughs. The little girl that I watch once a week recently told me that her foot hurt because she had to go to the dentist... Okay so maybe my survival guide is more like a list of things that you can do to help the time to pass but I think that trusting God and relying on Him while trying to keep busy is the key to surviving while you are apart from one another. Whatever you do, do not shut everybody out. While it may be tempting to lock yourself alone in your room watching sappy movies and eating ice cream, doing so will only make things worse. If you're going to do it, at least make sure that you have a friend or a relative with you. That way you won't have to cry alone. I hope this helps somebody. :) As of right now, I am sitting in my living room with no company aside from my betta fish which was so lovingly named "Lightning McQueen" by my youngest brother due to his bright red color. I must say, Lightning McQueen doesn't really make for good company. Sure, he's fun to look at, but who wants to talk to something that can't talk back to you? If you're reading this, you probably think that I am starting to go crazy... And as much as I hate to admit it, you may be correct in thinking so. My husband, Cameron, is currently away helping to cover for another unit while they are training which means that I am on my own for several weeks. :( Being alone makes you do some strange things (for example... talking to your fish). Thankfully though, my lovely sister and her husband came to visit me this week. Yay! It was so nice to have them here for a few days even if it was a bit chilly. That didn't stop us from going to the beach though! We had a very good time building sand castles, collecting sea shells, and standing in the ocean letting the waves wash up to our knees. It was sad to see them go this morning when I dropped them off at the airport. It won't be long before I see them again though! In three days, I'll be the one hopping on a plane to see them (and everyone else back home). I am so excited to get to spend some time back in our lovely Kansas visiting with everyone. And I will be there for Easter! I am sad that Cameron will not be able to be there and I am most definitely looking forward to coming back to North Carolina and having him home but I think that being in Kansas will be very good for me. Hopefully while I am there I will get to experience some real thunderstorms that have real thunder and real lightning. That is something that I have sorely missed since moving to North Carolina. We have "thunderstorms" but so far, there really hasn't been any thunder. It's the strangest thing to me and I am still completely baffled as to why they forecast "thunderstorms" if there is no thunder... They should forecast "rain storm with a few strikes of lightning and maybe one or two small rumbles of thunder". Actually, I have only heard thunder one time since we moved here and I wasn't even sure if it was really thunder... I am really looking forward to going on lots of walks too, both out in the country and on the walking trails in town. Another strange thing about living in North Carolina is that there are no sidewalks. There is a grocery store about two blocks away from my house and the sidewalks do not go all the way to it. For a person who loves to go for walks but doesn't really care to walk on the busy streets, this is quite disappointing. I have had to look for new ways to occupy my time and I'd say that I have been fairly successful in doing so. I have spent tremendous amounts of time online researching about all sorts of things (talk about information overload!) and have discovered how awful a lot of the foods and household products that we use on a daily basis are to our bodies. So many chemicals!! I now only use natural cleaning products. AKA, mostly vinegar, baking soda, and lemons. As far as food goes, I'm working on going natural but it is more difficult when you're living in a non-farming community. Aside from my attempts for going natural, I have also recently taught myself to crochet with the help of YouTube. These are the shoes that I made. Since I completed the shoes, I have also made two baby hats and am working on making a beret for a little girl who goes to my church back home. I think that I need to go buy some more yarn... I have really been enjoying crocheting. Do they allow crochet needles on airplanes? It'd be nice if I could work on my next project during the flight... But anyway, I think that is probably enough of my ramblings for one night. I think I shall head upstairs and get all settled in for the evening. G'night all!
Hi all!
I must say, it is a beautiful day here in North Carolina! It is really starting to feel like home here. Almost everything is unpacked, we are learning our way around town, Cameron is getting settled into his job, and I am getting adjusted to just being a plain ole' housewife. All that's left is to find a church. We haven't been very successful in that area... But we were successful in our search for some affordable appliances! I am so excited over our new washer and dryer! I know it sounds silly and I have been happily washing laundry at home. I'm sure that the excitement will wear off soon and laundry will go back to being a chore but I'm enjoying it for now! I am also excited that we finally got our internet connected. Pinterest, here I come! My poor husband is going to be so happy to be my guinea pig for cooking experiments. I'm just happy to be with him again. :) Military life has been interesting so far. I'm still terrified of driving on base though I do not know why. It is just intimidating. Shopping at the commissary can be a great but also dangerous experience. They need traffic signals for shopping carts! Thankfully, we live in a delightful little town home where I have been working to set up our home. Pictures are going up, cookies are being made (even in the middle of the night when I cannot sleep), and I am making lists miles long of things that we need in order to "re-setup shop". I haven't really made any friends yet and we only have one car so I get a bit restless staying at home all day. Not that I do not like being at home and doing housewife-y things but even the common housewife needs to get out of the house sometimes. Which is something that my husband is realizing very quickly. Unfortunately he is realizing it because of my somewhat grouchy attitude that keeps occurring when I am at home for too long... Yesterday he even sent me to the mall to go shopping and let me get a manicure AND pedicure... That really says something. :( Not that I didn't enjoy the pedicure... I need to find more ways to entertain myself and stay busy. And not to take out my restlessness on Cameron who has been working so much... Studying the Bible helps a lot! Right now I am reading in Isaiah. I have found that it is one of my favorite chapters. :) Oops. I hear the laundry calling! Stay tuned for more adventures of this ordinary Marine wife! There just might be a tasty surprise in the near future. ;) Yep! We are going to be moving to Jacksonville, NC in just a few weeks and I could not be more excited! I am so ready to just hop in the car and go. But... I have to go to Texas and get my husband first! So, it has been a while since my last post so to bring my readers up to date, I have now driven to San Angelo twice to visit Cameron. The first trip was back in September. The drive was a little bit scary but the trip was uneventful overall. I survived driving and finally met up with my husband on a Friday evening. I was so excited that I could hardly contain it! We spent the entire weekend talking and laughing and walking along the river in San Angelo. I loved it and loved getting to spend some much needed time with my husband. When the time came for me to drop Cameron off at the base and head back to the hotel for a lonely night before driving back to Kansas, I did not want to let go. Watching him walk away is one of the worst feelings ever and driving for ten hours alone the next day is not much better. Back at the hotel, I had an overwhelming desire to just flee. I did not want to leave my husband but I wanted to get away from the lonely feeling that haunted me in the hotel room that night. Knowing that being with Cameron was not an option, I wanted to be home where I could get back into a routine and make time go by as quickly as possible and start counting down the days until I would get to be with him again.
We were hoping for the second weekend in October. I waited (rather impatiently) for that whole week to find out if I would get to go. I went to Wichita to stay with my sister-in-law the Thursday night before I was supposed to be leaving but the call did not come until around 4:00pm on THE DAY that I was supposed to leave. At that point, I had been playing a board game with my other sister-in-law who had been visiting. But of course I dropped everything and hopped in the car as soon as I heard the news. I drove straight through all the way to Texas, stopping only once to fill up with gas. I made it to the hotel where Cameron had been waiting for me around 1:00 in the morning. That weekend was just as good as the first only we had an extra day because it was a three-day weekend. Talk about excitement! We did some shopping, walked along the river again, played Ticket to Ride, and spent some time with one of Cameron's Marine friends and his wife who was also visiting for the weekend. I loved every second of it. Until it came time for me to leave again. Because of my experience the first time that I came to visit, Cameron and I decided that I would drive to Abilene and stay at a hotel there for the night. Leaving him was not any easier. It hurts every time. I cry every time. Even when I know that I will get to see him again somewhat soon. Staying in Abilene was still lonely. Now it has been almost a month since I have seen Cameron. I hate all of the waiting and sometimes I wonder how I have survived for so long without him. I think that something that I struggle with is being too dependent on people (especially my husband) when I should be relying on God. That is one of the things that I have learned throughout all of this and have consistently been battling since Cameron left. I love my husband with all my heart but it is not that I CAN'T live without him (though it certainly seems like it at times!). It is that I don't WANT to. When I start feeling depressed, I have to remind myself that God is there and that I am not alone. I have to remember that no matter what, He will see us through. Reading Psalms helps me very much with this because it gives me something to be joyful about. I have so much to be thankful for. I am not going to say that time is flying by but it is going at an average rate for the most part. Which is a silly thing to say because time always passes at the same rate but that is besides the point. The point is that it is not dragging too badly though there are definitely still some days that I think will never end. We are getting so close to the end. We now know where we are going to be stationed and I am going to be heading to Texas again next week! The plan is to head out on Friday and then I will spend the whole weekend with Cameron. But here is the thing, because my wonderful husband is going to be graduating that week, I will get to stay in Texas all week long! And here is the best part; when I head back to Kansas the following Friday, I will not be alone! I will not have to say good bye. I will not have to cry as I watch my husband walk away. I will not have to drive for ten hours with nothing but the radio and my thoughts to keep me company... I will have my husband with me! We will be driving back to Kansas together where we will be spending a couple of weeks before we begin the next phase of our journey together in North Carolina. At the time being, I am still working at the college bookstore and am now living with Cameron's parents. But not for long! If I was ready to move before, I am even more ready now! I can't wait. I have been looking at houses, researching the area, looking up churches, and basically just been trying to get as much information as I possibly can. I can't wait to start a new life (once again) with my husband. I look forward to having a house of our own and being able to cook meals and do wife-like things. Sometimes it seems like the time will never get here but time cannot stand still. It will get here eventually. Until then, I will be waiting. While it is not easy to be apart, I am so thankful to have such a wonderfully kind, loving, and godly husband. :) Well folks, here we are. September 7th. It’s been a long five months of being apart and unfortunately we still have another two and a half to go but we are finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Our journey has been extremely rough at times but I think that I can speak for both of us when I say that we have grown a lot from the experience. Through it all, I think that I have learned how to trust God more fully. Every single morning, I have to wake up and say, “Okay God. Here I am again. Help me to trust you with everything including my emotions and my marriage” and he somehow carries me through even when I feel like I am at my worst. I have also learned new ways to love my husband and to respect and honor him (and God) while we are apart. Through it all, I have discovered just how strong the bond of love in a godly marriage is. The words of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 couldn’t be more true. “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. Love bears all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends…” (ESV).
“Love bears all things, hopes all things, endures all things” Those are the words that stand out to me. I think that while Cameron and I have been apart, my eyes have been open to things that I probably wouldn’t have seen or understood before. I can now see and understand why so many marriages fall apart, especially military ones. Being apart is HARD. Of course everyone knows that it is not easy but I do not think that one can fully understand unless he or she has been through it personally. Nobody wants to experience the feelings that come along with being apart from someone that you love so much but it seems like some people seem to see ending the marriage as a means of stopping the pain. It won’t stop the pain though. Instead of temporarily enduring the pain so that you can be together again in the end, you are choosing to be apart forever so that you can “move on with your life”. It will only cause more pain by completely losing someone that you love. Being apart is probably the hardest thing that I have encountered in life so far. I do not like it. I want to be reunited with my husband and I never want him to leave my sight again. But there IS an end (or rather a new beginning) in sight. We WILL be together again soon. It only seems like it will never get here but it will. Time cannot stand still and despite what people may say, marriages can withstand nearly anything. It just takes a lot of extra work. It is so worth it though. I have now been married for 1.25 years. While we have been apart for nearly half of that time, marriage has still been way better than I ever could have imagined it being. I have seriously never been happier than when I am with him. As of right now, Cameron is in San Angelo, Texas completing his MOS training and then….WE WILL FINALLY BE TOGETHER AGAIN PERMANENTLY!!! I’m just waiting for the end of November to get here. Sometime within the next few weeks I will be allowed to go and visit Cameron in Texas for a weekend which I am sure will be wonderful and within the next month, we should finally find out where they are going to station us. I am so excited that I have already started house hunting even though I don’t know where we are going to be living yet! Hey, it helps pass the time in a positive way. I just have to look at a lot of different possibilities and at ALL of the MCAS bases. It will be nice to be able to limit my search to one base. J While I am waiting in the meantime, I am trying to stay as busy as possible. I am working at NCCC’s bookstore and taking classes online from Emporia State University. When I have spare time, I practice playing piano and make personalized t-shirts for myself and friends. I cannot wait to be with my husband again and I am so glad to finally be into the last phase of his training. We are well on our way to being together again! Early in the morning (about 3:45 to be exact) on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013, the alarm clock rings and I instantly remember what we are waking up for. I roll over close to my husband and hug him tight as the tears start rolling immediately. I’m not ready to do this. I don’t want to let him go. Our ten days together went by so very quickly. I don’t think I can do this. But we had no choice. I helped the love of my life pack up the last of his things. The warm, humid air of an early July morning in Kansas somehow felt a little heavier and a little more sad as my husband and I got into the car in silence. On the way to the airport in Wichita, my husband pointed out landmarks and did his best to make sure that I would remember how to get back to his sister’s house where we had been staying the night before. My mind was swimming and all of the directions were not really sinking in. The drive was very short. In just a few minutes, we were pulling up next to the entrance and I was dreading what I knew was coming. We both got out of the car. Cameron got all of his luggage out of the car and then hugged me and kissed me goodbye. I stood there and watched as he walked into the building and disappeared into the crowd. At this point, the tears were dry. I got back into the car and turned on the GPS. I made it back to his sister’s house in time to get a phone call from him checking to make sure that I had made it safely. It was quick because he had to board the plane. I lied in bed alone thinking about everything that had taken place over the past few months and all of the things that we had gone through. I cried myself to sleep feeling hopeless and incredibly lonely. When I woke up a few hours later and went upstairs, I was greeted by our two nieces. The three-year-old wanted to know where her Uncle Cameron was and began asking questions as to why he left without me. I tried to explain it to her but had to leave the room for a moment before I completely lost my composure. When I came back, I told her that Cameron had to go back to California for more training and that the Marine Corps would not let me go with him so I was going to be living with my sister for a little while longer. To which she responded by telling me that Cameron would cry if I lived with Regan. Cameron called me as soon as his flight landed in California. He was safe, the flight went well but was a little bumpy when they were flying over the mountains, all of the usual questions were answered but what he told me next was very upsetting. He told me that while at MCT, he would not be allowed to use his phone for the first three out of the four weeks that he was there. The only thing that I had really taken comfort in was knowing that we would be able to at least talk to each other. Now that communication source was taken away. I tried to take it in stride and “keep being strong” like everyone is always telling me to do but it is just so hard. I wasn’t feeling very strong. Driving back to Chanute that evening was pretty miserable. Every song on every radio station made me want to cry so I turned it off. I discovered the first time that he left that driving and crying are not a good combination… I spent the evening hanging out with my sister but felt on edge the whole time like I could burst into tears at any given second so I avoided being with anyone else. The next morning at work, I was feeling a bit better but still very sad and my boss and coworkers were not quite sure what to do with me. I was just down. I was not grumpy or unpleasant but I am generally a joyful and cheerful person so my looking like I was going to cry was unusual. The days dragged on and on as I tried to adjust to my husband’s absence. I will tell you right now that it is impossible to fully adjust to it but establishing routines and filling the days with activities really helps a lot. He was in my thoughts constantly (and still is!) and I had to just keep telling myself that this part of his training would only last for a month. I got through three months so surely I could get through one more. Throughout the whole thing, I had to keep reminding myself that God was there and that he would help us to get through even on the toughest of sleepless nights. He did and continues to do so. When we are struggling, when we are down, when we feel like nothing is going right, God is always there and he is taking care of us. I like to think of it like this; God carries us when we do not have the strength to carry ourselves. When we feel strong, He is right there walking beside us and holding onto our hands guiding us in the right direction. Through His guidance He has taught me how to handle the hard situations in life much better. The verse that I go back to over and over again when I am feeling lonely, sad, anxious, scared, or when I am just missing my husband so much that it makes me feel sick is Isaiah 41:10 which says “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand”. That one verse is the one that I have gone to the most over the past five months that I have been away from my husband. It is so comforting to know that even when I feel completely alone, I am not and that God will always be there and will strengthen us and help us during our time of need. I have no reason to be afraid of what is to come in the future because God will not ever leave my side. He is my strength and my stronghold. To this day, I am still missing my husband like crazy and would give pretty much anything to be with him right now but I know that we will eventually get to live together again and that God will pull us through. Because He is just awesome like that. Photo credit goes to my lovely sister-in-law, Kara Cunningham
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