Hi all! My name is Emma and I have been happily married to the love of my life for ten months now. My husband, Cameron, and I have been living in a college town in Kansas where we were both working on our bachelor's degrees. I work as an online psychology tutor and my husband worked at RecXtra (an after school program) at Village Elementary School. God, church, and our church family are a humongous part of our lives. It was just a few months ago when my husband started really struggling with school. He wasn't focusing and was just have a bad time in general. It was then that he started mentioning joining the Marine Corps. At first, I sort of just brushed off the thought. He had never given me any indication that he wanted to join the military before so I thought it wasn't a big deal. However, he began to talk about it more and more. We started to seriously discuss the possibilities, the pros and cons, and the effects that it would have on our lives and on our marriage. We eventually came to the conclusion that in the long run, his joining the Marine Corps would be a good thing. After that, everything started happening really fast. Cameron enlisted and was part of the delayed entry program however that was only for a few weeks. Last week, Cameron had an appointment with his recruiter in Topeka and I had just happened to tag along. It was then when the recruiter asked if he would be interested in being one of the "standby shippers". My husband, who has always been the kind to jump right in and get things done wholeheartedly agreed after he looked to me and asked if it would be okay with me. Of course I said yes. His leaving earlier just means that he'll get back sooner, right? Yeah. Well, Cameron had a 50/50 chance of shipping out on April 1st, 2013 and he did ship on that day. I didn't even know for sure until that morning. No one did. After discovering that I have this to say, letting my husband walk away and leaving him at that hotel was the hardest thing that I had ever done. I couldn't even drive away for almost an hour because I was too upset and didn't want to leave him. To make things worse, I got pulled over for the first time ever on the way to my Grandma's house where I was staying for the night and pretty much bawled my eyes out while I was hiccuping and trying to explain to the officer why I made such a stupid driving error. He didn't give me a ticket, thank goodness. I made it to my grandmother's house in one piece physically but emotionally I was an absolute mess. I had cried my eyes dry on the way home which was something that I didn't even know was possible. I wrote the first letter to my husband that night, cried some more, and finally fell asleep around one only to wake up again around four and not fall back asleep. The next day wasn't much better. I cried and cried, hugged my husbands hoodie, cried some more, and wrote another letter. Oh yeah, I also drove home to the apartment where my husband and I live and cried some more because I was there and he was gone. I am thankful that my little brother was there to help me and make sure that I didn't forget to eat because I know that I would have otherwise. I really didn't have an appetite anyway. I couldn't eat more than a few bites at a time because it would make me feel sick. The second day dragged but eventually it was time to get ready for bed. I had just started writing my letter when I got the first phone call. It was quick. 15 seconds long. All he said was that he made it safely, he would be contacting me in two to three weeks via United States Postal Service, that he loved me, and good bye. I don't even know if he heard me say that I loved him too. He hung up that fast. After that, I cried some more (Yes, I was a major cry baby for the first three days). I didn't sleep very much that night. I got four hours at the most and still had to go to class the next morning at eight which was miserable. On Wednesday, I still couldn't eat more than a few bites at a time. My life felt completely empty which makes sense because my whole world is currently located in San Diego, California. I didn't want to go to school or see people. I wanted to hide away. That night however, I had a turn around. I just happened to pick up my Bible and had a sudden realization. I was becoming depressed and I had to put a stop to the oncoming depression immediately. And I did. I spent some time praying and a bit more time reading and guess what happened then. I actually felt better! Of course, I still missed my husband and I still do now and think about him constantly, but I realized that I can't be here being all sad and depressed. That isn't what he needs from me. He is pretty much going through a living hell right now and needs me to keep things going at home and stay positive so that I can give him some much needed support and an outlet to the world outside of boot camp. I am so disappointed in myself for being that way but I am also thankful that I was able to snap out of it rather quickly. That night, I actually slept soundly until my alarm clock went off. The next day, my appetite had returned and I awoke with a determination to support my husband in every way possible. He needs me more than ever and I have to do my best to meet his needs. So yesterday and today I have been doing lots of research on Marine boot camp so that I can get a better understanding of what he is doing so that I can pray for him in a more effective manner. Also, I have begun setting goals for myself and creating routines to make the days go faster. Here are some of the things that I have come up with so far. To start with, I decided that now is a good time for me to get in shape and add some extra beauty routines so that by the time the end of the three months gets here, I'll be extra pretty for my husband when he comes back! I know that sounds a little vain but really, they're just time fillers that happen to have some bonus effects. I have also decided to create a to-do list everyday of things that I MUST accomplish before the day is over. Things on that list can be anything from cleaning the bathroom, to reading a chapter in the Bible, to plucking your eyebrows. Just make sure that you do the things that you put on the list! In addition to that, I have been looking for ways that I can support my dear husband even better. To do that, I have simply placed a notepad and a pen somewhere in every single room. By doing that, I am able to write down my thoughts for the day and send him little tidbits like encouraging song lyrics, Bible verses, and simple love notes without having to do it all at once. I am going to send him pictures of me and also of our nieces whom he adores so much. In addition to that, I am going to be sending him some stamps so that he won't have to worry about going and buying them at the recruit camp and hopefully he'll be able to write more often. I miss my husband like crazy; so much that it hurts. I still cry all the time but I am doing much better. My life has been refocused now and I know that I need to stay positive so that I can provide the encouragement that my husband needs. It's almost like I am just pretending but I have to at least try. I have been writing everyday but I don't have his address yet so the letters are still sitting on the night stand in our room. I am still waiting for that first letter but I will be sure to let you know when I get it! Please do comment if you have any advice or suggestions This whole military thing is new to me so I am definitely still trying to adjust. I would love to connect with some people who have been through the same or similar situations. What did you do in this situation? How did you handle it? Well, that's all for now. This military wife is signing off to write another letter!