We were hoping for the second weekend in October. I waited (rather impatiently) for that whole week to find out if I would get to go. I went to Wichita to stay with my sister-in-law the Thursday night before I was supposed to be leaving but the call did not come until around 4:00pm on THE DAY that I was supposed to leave. At that point, I had been playing a board game with my other sister-in-law who had been visiting. But of course I dropped everything and hopped in the car as soon as I heard the news. I drove straight through all the way to Texas, stopping only once to fill up with gas. I made it to the hotel where Cameron had been waiting for me around 1:00 in the morning. That weekend was just as good as the first only we had an extra day because it was a three-day weekend. Talk about excitement! We did some shopping, walked along the river again, played Ticket to Ride, and spent some time with one of Cameron's Marine friends and his wife who was also visiting for the weekend. I loved every second of it. Until it came time for me to leave again. Because of my experience the first time that I came to visit, Cameron and I decided that I would drive to Abilene and stay at a hotel there for the night. Leaving him was not any easier. It hurts every time. I cry every time. Even when I know that I will get to see him again somewhat soon. Staying in Abilene was still lonely.
Now it has been almost a month since I have seen Cameron. I hate all of the waiting and sometimes I wonder how I have survived for so long without him. I think that something that I struggle with is being too dependent on people (especially my husband) when I should be relying on God. That is one of the things that I have learned throughout all of this and have consistently been battling since Cameron left. I love my husband with all my heart but it is not that I CAN'T live without him (though it certainly seems like it at times!). It is that I don't WANT to. When I start feeling depressed, I have to remind myself that God is there and that I am not alone. I have to remember that no matter what, He will see us through. Reading Psalms helps me very much with this because it gives me something to be joyful about. I have so much to be thankful for.
I am not going to say that time is flying by but it is going at an average rate for the most part. Which is a silly thing to say because time always passes at the same rate but that is besides the point. The point is that it is not dragging too badly though there are definitely still some days that I think will never end. We are getting so close to the end. We now know where we are going to be stationed and I am going to be heading to Texas again next week! The plan is to head out on Friday and then I will spend the whole weekend with Cameron. But here is the thing, because my wonderful husband is going to be graduating that week, I will get to stay in Texas all week long! And here is the best part; when I head back to Kansas the following Friday, I will not be alone! I will not have to say good bye. I will not have to cry as I watch my husband walk away. I will not have to drive for ten hours with nothing but the radio and my thoughts to keep me company... I will have my husband with me! We will be driving back to Kansas together where we will be spending a couple of weeks before we begin the next phase of our journey together in North Carolina.
At the time being, I am still working at the college bookstore and am now living with Cameron's parents. But not for long! If I was ready to move before, I am even more ready now! I can't wait. I have been looking at houses, researching the area, looking up churches, and basically just been trying to get as much information as I possibly can. I can't wait to start a new life (once again) with my husband. I look forward to having a house of our own and being able to cook meals and do wife-like things. Sometimes it seems like the time will never get here but time cannot stand still. It will get here eventually. Until then, I will be waiting. While it is not easy to be apart, I am so thankful to have such a wonderfully kind, loving, and godly husband. :)